Making friends


A friend to all is a friend to none.  –Aristotle

I have hundreds of friends.  At least that is what my social media accounts tell me. The concept of friendship has changed significantly over the years, especially since the advent of the internet and social media. Social media friendships are so easy to make—just press the “Add Friend” button.  But what is a real friend?

Speaking to his disciples, Jesus explained friendship like this in John 15:13 (NIV), “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”  Whoa!  That rules out most of my social media friends. Real friendships, at least in Jesus’ definition, require personal relationships and a willingness to make sacrifices.

A real friend walks in when the rest of the world walks out.”  –Walter Winchell

So, what is real friendship?  I do not profess to have all the answers, but here are some things I have discovered about real friends:

  • They are there for you when others walk away.
  • They meet you where you are, warts, wrinkles and all.
  • They will make time for you, even when they cannot spare it.
  • They expect nothing in return and do not keep score.
  • They are good listeners.
  • They respect confidentiality.
  • They tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear.
  • They say, “Wow, you really screwed this up! Now how can I help you fix it?”
  • They walk beside you in the demon filled valleys.
  • They are at their best when you are at your worst.

For prayer is nothing else than being on terms of friendship with God.  –St. Teresa of Avila

I am blessed with an abundance of friends.  They know who they are. Most are fellow brothers or sisters in Christ. Thinking about what I like most about my friends makes me wonder if it is possible to be a friend of God?  I believe it is. In Daniel 3, Daniel was bound and thrown into a fiery furnace because he refused to worship an image of King Nebuchadnezzar. God, presumably a preincarnate Jesus, appeared in the blazing furnace with Daniel. David, despite his many serious flaws, had such a close relationship with God that God called him, “a man after my own heart,” (Acts 13:22). God called Abraham “my friend” (Isaiah 41:8b). And God spoke to Moses face to face, “as a man speaks with a friend” (Exodus 33:11a). The closeness of God to these individuals was not due to their righteousness, as all were flawed. These friendships were a result of God’s grace and mercy.

God is eager to be your friend, but He is unlike your other friends in one important way. God wants you to be his disciple. Jesus, God the Father’s only begotten son, lived up to his own teaching that, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” Are you ready to let God mold and shape your life like potter’s clay?  Then lay down your life at his feet, pick up your cross and follow Jesus.

 He (Jesus) washes us in Baptism and gives us new, clean clothes of goodness and holiness to wear—His own good clothes, to be ours forever. Finally, He gives us life—His own everlasting life, which He won for us when He rose from the dead, never to die again. Dr. Kari Vo, The Lutheran Hour.

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