Archive for the ‘Aging’ Category

Lessons Learned

As I reported in April, I recently underwent major surgery.  Having never been under general anesthesia before, I was more than a little bit anxious about the entire procedure. It has been nearly two months since the surgery and I’m still in the healing process.  The procedure was conducted robotically and left seven scars on my abdomen.  The first time I showed the scars to my youngest grandson he said it looks like I was in a gunfight. I try to learn from every experience, whether good or bad.

I spent 24 years of my adult life as a commissioned officer in the US Army. During my military career, I learned a lot of life lessons—things that continue to help me today.  A wise Field Artillery battalion commander once told me, “It’s ok to make mistakes, but learn from them and avoid repeating them.”  Imagine a world where everyone lived by this axiom!

A lot of Army training events and operations conclude an After-Action Review, or AAR.  The AAR is a very open discussion about how the execution of an event went. The ultimate aim is to do better next time. AARs can be soul searching experiences. To understand my surgery experience, I ended up doing a lot of soul and scripture searching. Here’s what I learned from my surgery and the leadup to it.    

I spent a lot of time praying about this surgery. I suffered doubt more than once.  Should I do it?  Will it work?  Could I die on the operating table?  My faith was put to the test. Knowing my prayers were insufficient, I enlisted the support from a host of prayer warriors I knew I could count on.  I received many words of encouragement from these friends and I was comforted just knowing they were praying for me.  Lesson learned – don’t worry!

God is in Control: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6*

Psalm 55

22 Cast your cares on the Lord
and he will sustain you;
he will never let
the righteous be shaken.

God shows Himself in many ways and places.  You never know when He’s going to pop up and remind you that he’s present.  As I lay in the surgical ward around 9pm, still a little groggy from the lingering effects of anesthesia, I was surprised when a beep sounded from the hospital intercom and some kind soul began reading an evening prayer—I was in a Catholic hospital. What a wonderful way to mark my first night in hospital. Lesson learned – we shouldn’t need an intercom announcement to remind us that God is always there.  Just stop, look and listen.

Psalm 139

Where can I go from your Spirit?
   Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
    if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
    if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
    your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
    and the light become night around me,”
12even the darkness will not be dark to you;
    the night will shine like the day,
    for darkness is as light to you.

Within six weeks of highly invasive surgery, I was nearly back to normal. Lesson learned: The human body’s ability to heal itself is remarkable. God’s incredible design of the human body is so amazing that it is beyond human comprehension. The hand of God our creator is clearly evident in human anatomy.

            Psalm 139

13For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

My wonderful wife was my sole caregiver for nearly a month, while I was significantly incapacitated from the surgery. I could not have survived on my own. Early Christians stood out in Roman society for their willingness to serve the sick and outcast, including lepers.  Lesson learned: Christians are called to be caregivers.

            Psalm 2

3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit.                                                                         Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 

4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

The robotic surgery performed by my surgeon was truly remarkable, but it pales in comparison to the abilities of our Lord. While a surgeon can help your physical needs, Jesus offers spiritual healing for broken hearts and souls. He is truly the “Great Physician.”

The Great Physician Now is Near – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PDfHFaJaTwk

*All Bible quotations are from the NIV.

Growing old and grateful

He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord. –Proverbs 18:22*

*All bible quotes are NIV.

I’m old enough to get senior discounts in restaurants and movie theaters, and AARP rates on hotel rooms. These are all good, but one of the greatest benefits of getting older is that I’ve developed a clearer understanding of what really matters in my life. When I was young, most of my attention was focused inwardly, which I suppose if fairly normal. 

I was commissioned a second lieutenant in the U.S. Army in May 1977, at the tender age of 21. Fresh out of college and newly married, I loved the excitement of a soldier’s life.  I loved the comradery and having fun with friends. I also enjoyed playing all kinds of sports and outdoor recreation like skiing and cycling. Sadly, there were many things I neglected during this phase of my life. One of these was my sweet wife.

As I grew a bit older, I began to pay more attention to the incredible woman I married. I grew to realize that Linda’s physical beauty was exceeded by even greater inner beauty. I grew to admire her patience—especially with me and my antics—and her fortitude.  When she sets her mind on something, it’s going to get done.  I also began to comprehend how wise Linda is—blessed with more common sense than anyone I’ve ever known. She is also blessed with the gift of spiritual discernment. On top of all this, Linda is one of the humblest and most generous people I’ve ever known.

For me, having our first child was a wake-up call greater than any drill instructor ever delivered to a barracks full of sleepy-eyed soldiers.  It was one of those ‘blinding glimpse of the obvious’ moments when selfish me suddenly realized I’m responsible for more than just myself.  While a wife is easily neglected, a screaming newborn is an entirely different matter.  Sad that I didn’t figure this out earlier!

My newfound sense of responsibility led me back to the Church, something I’d managed to neglect since the time I entered college some seven years earlier. This sudden change of direction came as quite a surprise to my then, non-Christian wife.  Thankfully, she was eventually steered towards God. Sadly, it happened without much help on my part.  Thank you, Holy Spirit!

Over the course of my 24-year Army career there were many long deployments and other periods away from home.  During these busy years Linda faithfully kept the home fires burning, managing a busy household and doing the lion’s share of parenting our two daughters. My military travels around the world helped me develop a deep appreciation for the blessings we enjoy as Americans—something that many of us simply don’t recognize.

Fast forward to the present and I feel blessed. I thank God daily for my family, friends, freedom, and faith.  Linda and I are reaping the benefits of having honored our marriage vows all these years; we recently celebrated our 45th wedding anniversary. Our amazing daughters are both grown and successful; we have a wonderful son-in-law who is a pastor; and we’ve been blessed with three delightful grandsons. We’re fortunate to be able to see our grandsons daily. We have loving, extended families living in diverse locations around the world. We’ve made many lifelong friends along the way, all of whom have blessed and enriched our lives. Most of all, we’ve been blessed by a loving God who was willing to sacrifice His only Son to redeem our souls.

Proverbs 31:10b-31

[b]A wife of noble character who can find?
    She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
    and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
    all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
    and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
    bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
    she provides food for her family
    and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
    out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
    her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
    and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
    and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
    and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
    for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
    she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
    where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
    and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
    she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
    and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
    and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
    but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
    and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.